pay it forward.

this morning, i had some much needed time to myself. so what do i do? i blog stalked. i quickly scanned my google reader trying to get my fill of photos and stories, but one blog stuck with me the whole day: jasmine star.

jasmine was fortunate enough to be offered a free website when she first started out, so she is giving away a free website to someone who is willing to pay it forward as well. i was beyond thrilled when i saw this post! i thought that i could have a chance to win a free website. one of my goals was to get a website up and running before the new year begins. but due to unexpected monetary setbacks, it most certainly does not look like that will be happening.

the conditions of the contest are simply to post how you would pay it forward should you receive the website. sounds simple right? not so much.

for the rest of the day, all i could think about was what i had to offer to others. i bought my camera fall of 2009, started learning about photography through 2010, and only started getting paid for some of my work here and there since the fall of 2010. reading through the comments left on jasmine's blog, i found a number of motivated readers. many aspire to mentor people of all ages the art of photography, while others offer free sessions and prints to those less fortunate.

just starting out in the business,  i feel as though i don't have much to offer. i have little experience and knowledge of photography. and on top of that, an empty wallet. who am i? what can i give? how can i help others? forget about the free website! i need these answers to help me move forward with life. how can i go on with life not trying to give back to others?

oh, but i have so much to give. and half the time, i don't even realize it.

i have an open heart. i have fears. desires. passion. i have a past full of regret, growth, and love. i have a shoulder to cry on and arms that will give hugs like nobody's business. i've been through a lot of darkness and am learning to see the light. i understand failure and embarrassment. i know love. i know God.

there are so many people out there searching for a passion. and i just want to say that i get it. i get life. and if you are struggling, i am here for you. i will listen and be there for you. i will give all of my heart to make sure you feel loved. because, quite simply, you are.

and that is what i have to give. my heart.


[taken february 2010]