defining myself.

the past couple of days, i have struggling with myself.

i just graduated from college with a degree in architectural engineering. problem: i don't want to be an engineer.

i just moved to michigan all the way from kansas. problem: i have next to nothing in the networking world.

christopher and i still don't have jobs. problem: we don't even have enough money to survive the next month.

o faith, how you've helped me along the way so much, and i don't even realize. for the last week, i've been thinking really hard about what to do with my life career-wise. i know in my heart and my mind that i do not want to do engineering. it's just not cut out for me. i don't know how i made it through school. but what's wonderful is that i do know what i want to do: photography.

i just pray that I am doing what God wants me to do.

so something that has been constantly on my mind is what i want to brand my "business" as. i'm not saying i'm legit, that i really have a business going on here, or that this is all i'm going to do to earn some money, but it's what i want to evolve over time. i just want to start it off on the right foot.

something that has been holding me back from really getting my foot into photography is my "business" name. i really wanted to go with my first and last name because who else do you know is named yen minns?? i can't think of anyone! what a great marketing tool right?! well... it is except no one can pronounce my vietnamese name. it's not pronounced like that japanese currency... no... it's pronounced like the guy's name ian. ... "ean" ... "E-N" ... "en" ... these are all the variations that people in my life have come up with to pronounce my simple yet complex name.

so as i'm cooking dinner, all i can think about is, who am i? what do i want my future clients to see in me when they look for a photographer? i don't want to be something phoney or overused. but it's so difficult when so many people have the same style as you or doing the same thing as you. how do i find my niche without being cliche?

i thought about the words that describe me as a person and why i want to take pictures. what better way to brand your business than to brand who you really are? the words that came to mind were:

raw. emotion. timeless. joy. faith. real. happiness. sadness. fear. anguish. light. beautiful. simple. complex. love. natural. whimsical. thoughtful. family. detailed. earthy. country. creative. fun. warm.

passion.

i want to do photography because i have passion. i have passion for the art of capturing that one moment of joy that's been lost in all of the hurt. i have passion for the technical details that i had no idea went into photography when i first learned about it. i have passion for the person crying over a lost loved one. i have passion for the love shown in the eyes of an engaged couple. i have passion for the pure innocence of a child. i have passion.

lightbulb! i went onto thesaurus.com to see what words are similar to passion. perhaps something will help me find a name for my business right? wrong. the one word that stuck out was none other than... yen.

yen 2 (jɛn)

— n
1. a passionate, ardent, or intense longing or desire

— vb , yens , yenning , yenned
2. ( intr ) to yearn

so there you have it folks. it's who i am.

i am yen.